Hall of Stuff™

My Masterpiece!

2007-11-22T22:24:00.000+08:00

A joke™

2007-09-07T22:24:00.000+08:00

It's a joke with Chinese surnames, using them to replace certain words in the English language. Actual English words are bracketed. Enjoy!

You is die now.
You is better run.
When your Mother come home,
she see you,
she is very angry.
And Too bad!
First, she say," I no top up your Sim card (SIM card) for one month!"
Then she drop five Tan (ton) lorry on you.
And tear you Lim from Lim (limb from limb).
Then she smash your Chin,
Pull out your Tang (tongue),
And give you one big Woon (wound).
And then she murder you there in Koh (cold) blood.
But don't worry.
It's just a Teo-ry (theory).
Why, you scared arh?
You Chee-ken (chicken).
How can you be so Sil-Lee (silly).
No mother is that Khoo-el (cruel).

Girly Man!!!

2007-09-02T22:37:00.000+08:00

My all time favorite song. It's an Indian thriller. Someone did subtitles for the song for what it sounds like in English, not its translation. And so, the subtitles are just plain nonsense. Hilarious!

(I think I’m the evil of the people
Praise the glory of the evil!)

GIRLY MAAAAANNNNNNNNNN!!!
Girly man!
Girly man, man, man, man, man!
Girly man, man, man, man, man!

Gosh, my old calculator ain’t got no bow
Nippley man I met, he ate my motorboat
Calm down and park that comfy shin guard armor
Welcome the dude who ain’t the buyer of mugs

Girly man!
Girly man, man, man, man, man!
RIPPPP YOURRRR MAAAAA

Woot, I’m coming!
Mutton goes YAY!
Cook the Chicano’s day!
Mucho Caliente!
I’ll eat wasabe on my dude

All my body just got ruled
Kinda like a fist on road
One more body for your car
OOO! OOO! Papa’s Restaurant

OOOO you’ll be pumping Ovaltine
Or Salty Shanty’s One Shot Tea
Roll, jam, belching, raving son
Mork and bull, and mumued star

Kill her! Kill her! Kill her! Killer! Killer! Killer!
Girly Man!
Girly man, man, man, man, man!!
Kill her! Kill her! Kill her! Killer! Killer! Killer!

(Please don’t buy the bald seal)

Move then Connie
Let me go yay!
Cause it’s a yardless day
Conga line too, Good Day!
Salad is a cargo you could do

Chet’s my buddy, Chester Rowe
Called him at the coaster room
Smashing all the people up
It’s the child no parka rule

OOOO laddie, ready, bite your knee
OOOO conk a collie, conquer he
Deal them, peal them, people looked shocked!
Move, too, then you got private shower

Kill her! Kill her! Kill her! Killer! Killer! Killer!
Girly Man!
Girly man, man, man, man, man!!
Girly man, man, man, man, man!!

Gosh, my old calculator ain’t got no bow
Nippley man I met, he ate my motorboat
Calm down and park that comfy shin guard armor
Welcome the dude who ain’t the buyer of mugs

Girly Man!!
Girly man, man, man, man, man!!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Merdeka

2007-08-31T22:58:00.001+08:00

Happy Merdeka everybody!!!

The Grand Awakening of What was Once Dead Again!!

2007-08-30T14:13:00.000+08:00

My blog has been through some very hard times, first contracting the life-threatening disease, BPDD (Blog post deficit disorder), which was already enough to kill off any other blog. But things got worse as The Hall of Stuff™ was further battered by a resulting complication, SLORS (Severe lack of readers syndrome), cutting off any hope of survival. Desperate and seemingly without hope, he lived out the rest of his cruel fate - alone. With only a few moments to live, he just couldn't help but wish that he were some other blog, free and full of life (and blogposts). Hope seemed far away - not even the faintest of lights being in the darkest of tunnels. Yet, he battled, day after day, struggling to come up with whatever blogposts that he could and managing with the few readers that came by once in awhile. Slowly and astonishingly, contrary to what everyone believed, The Hall of Stuff™ was actually getting better! Soon, blogposts became less infrequent. Some say it was due to his great determination. Others say it was a miracle. Whatever it was, both young and old found it hard to believe - they were utterly shocked! Delivered was he from his cruel fate. It was hope being poured forth from heaven, like rain in the desert. But things haven't always been smooth sailing, and life was not about to get any easier. He still had good and bad times, ups and downs. After all, that is life. And also yet, in the midst of a battle won, deep within his heart was the constant fear of the recurrence of the deadly disease, like death itself lurking, and waiting for the kill.

So, if I haven't been blogging, don't blame me!!

The Grand Awakening of What was Once Dead

2007-07-14T17:57:00.000+08:00

It's been ages since I last blogged. I'm so sorry to have kept you (all my dear fans) in such great anticipation. It must have been a very painful and excruciating wait. But wait no longer. Because here you have it, after a very long time, a blog post! Enjoy!

P.S. : There you go, Yi Wan. I hope you like it. =) I guess your hypnotizing worked. I have no choice but to blog. Must blog!!

Saviour Of The World

2007-05-30T21:12:00.001+08:00

R.I.P.

2007-05-15T14:34:00.000+08:00

Long has died my blog
Death holds it in the palm of its hand
A grip too strong
A curse unbroken
Never to awake
Never to be read again
This is the fate of my blog

Never Stop

2007-01-27T12:03:00.000+08:00

SPOT THE DIFF

2006-11-10T22:44:00.000+08:00

Now it's time for Kluang's biggest game show -

SPOT THE DIFF

This is a guy's bathroom cabinet.

This is a girl's.

IT'S UP TO YOU. SPOT THE DIFF.

The History of Soosay

2006-10-17T20:36:00.000+08:00

The first two stanzas of the poem " In the month of May", better known as the epic of Mr. Soosay was written by Mark Mohan Nair in the year 2004. It so happened to be in the month of May. He showed it around and it caught the interest of his young nephew, Christopher Nair(1990-now). He immediately got to work on it and added another three stanzas to the original piece. Sadly, the poem was forgotten until October of 2006. It came to the mind of Christopher again after more than two years and amazingly he had remembered the whole poem word for word (The written copy due to some unfortunate reason was lost). He immediately wrote down what was in his head and it was the same poem written two years ago that was staring back at him. He worked through the night of October the 12th and into the early hours of the morning of the following day to complete it. Another two stanzas were added and the whole poem was revised. Finally after two years it was finished. He liked what he saw - In the Month of May (May 2004 - 13 October 2006).

The original form (May 2004) by Mark Mohan Nair:

In the month of May
The people gathereth the hay
One of them said
Hey, who's going to pay
Someone shouted "Mr Soosay!"

In the month of May
Mr Soosay refuseth to pay
The people tooketh some clay

And stuck it on his face on that day

Unauthorized copying is illegal and is punishable by law.

The Work of Two Poets

2006-10-13T00:42:00.000+08:00

In the month of May
by Christopher and Mark Mohan Nair

In the month of May
The people gathered the hay
I heard one of them say
Hey, who's gonna pay
Another shouted," Mr. Soosay!"

In the month of May
Mr. Soosay refused to pay
The people took some clay
And stuck it on his face that very day
(An awful sight, if I may)

Poor Mr. Soosay
On the ground he lay
Face full of clay
(He was definitely not okay)

A beautiful summer's day
Perfect for gathering hay
But there on ground he lay
Poor ol' Mr. Soosay

As the villagers - one by one they walked away
As they carried away with them their instruments for gathering hay
Out from beneath the clay
I could hear him begin to say
Nay, it was more of a yelp - a cry of dismay

"Oh why, why didn't I pay?
Why didn't I give them the wages for the day?
Woe is me, I'm full of clay
(A rotten and wicked punishment, I dare say.)
Oh those dreadful people and their dreadful hay."

Some say, that Mr. Soosay
Didn't deserve the clay
Others thought it was the perfect punishment for not wanting to pay
Yet one thing remains clear on that dreadful day
It all happened in the month of May

All rights reserved Nair publishing 2006

The Night Safari

2006-09-01T23:03:00.000+08:00

Night safari - 1 n. A place where poor creatures of the wild are trapped and have no other choice but to be stared at by countless strange beings. 2 n. A poor attempt by certain people to trick animals into believing that the place they are being trapped in is actually their natural habitat in order to make money through the display of the animals to unsuspecting paying customers. 3 vrb. to seriously con by use of the mentioned or similar methods.

Now that we are all aware of the definition of the "Night Safari", let us now turn our attention to an examplatory picture of an unsuspecting paying customer and a poor, helpless creature. Both, none the less, are victims of this dreadful scheme. Will they realize what they are in for before its too late, or will they be caught helpless in evil clutches of the NIGHT SAFARI?

Hols in Singapore

2006-09-01T21:37:00.000+08:00

I am blogging on the 4th day of my holiday in Singapore. We left Kluang on Tuesday, in the evening. That meant that I didn't have to go to school for the rest of the week. Nice rite? Ly needed a ride so she tagged along. After dropping Ly off, we headed to my aunt's house. We were warmly welcomed, and treated to a very fine dinner - pasta, brownies, and Italian ice cream. It was the start of a very pleasant holiday.

The next morning I woke up at about 10. Very nice to sleep in after having to wake up at 6 something for school the previous mornings. My aunty took us out for lunch at Cafe Cartel in Plaza Singapura. I had pork ribs, another nice meal. The dish was humongous. I was so full. Soon after, we went to see a movie - click. Really good movie, funny and very touching. It even had a good moral too. It was the least vulgar Adam Sandler movie I have ever seen. Hahaha. Probably nothing else exciting happened until the next day.

Again i woke up at 10 and again we went to Plaza Singapura. Another nice lunch. Dejavu. Haha. But this time, we didn't catch a movie. Instead we were bored out of our wits waiting for my mom and aunt to finish shopping. I don't like shopping, at all. We waited and waited from afternoon all the way to 6 something. But hey, im a resourceful person - I found a way to entertain myself. Hehe. Hmm let me see. I tortured my little brother, told jokes in an Indian accent, and sang the Malaysian national anthem in front of all the Singaporeans. After all it was Hari Kebangsaan. It was nice to see their puzzled faces. I doubt any of them understood what I was singing. Well, the best part of shopping was actually buying something, which most girls don't do when they go shopping. Haha. I bought a Giordano t-shirt. And I got to look around the Yamaha music store. Can someone please buy me a flute??? It looks so nice. The flute happens to be my favorite woodwind instrument. We had more Italian ice cream at Gelare.

The thing that happened next was the most exciting part of this holiday. It was the visit to the night safari. Im going to write about it in a separate post. Please proceed to the next post after finishing this one or if you are too lazy to scroll up, here's a link. http://the7thparadox.blogspot.com/2006/09/night-safari.html

The next morning, which also happens to be this morning, I woke up at.... Guess what time again? Haha. Nothing much til evening. We went shopping again. But this time, we spent most of our time at the iPod store. Too bad the exchange rate for the Singapore dollar to ringgit is 2.4. That makes things really expensive for us Malaysians. Haha. We had dinner at burger king. Much better than the ones in Malaysia. And dollar for dollar, its cheaper too. While we were walking, we saw an ice cream man, so we decided to buy some. It was just like normal ice cream, except that he didn't sell it in cones. He just cut cubes of ice cream and put it between two wafers and viola, ice cream cubes!! Haha. Took the MRT back to my aunts house, and here I am blogging now. Good nite!! Go sleep, y'all have school tomorrow. But I don't. Hahaha. Til next time.

End of Log.

The Doulos

2006-08-17T18:04:00.000+08:00

Hmm... It's been almost three weeks since our visit to Doulos. I didn't blog about it earlier, so I better do it now before I forget. No wait! That experience was unforgetable, so i don't think I'll be doing any forgeting anytime soon.

Well, for those of you who don't know, the MV Doulos is a ship. A really old ship. How old? Try the oldest ship in the whole world. It is a mission ship that sails all around the world. The crew consists of about 350 people. Millions of people come aboard to see the ship. There is an on-board book store with half a million books. In short, It's a really cool ship!!

So we left for Doulos at about 7:30 A.M. in five buses and a van. I went in the van. The van ride was not much to talk about so we shall skip right to the arrival. The van arrived about 1 hour earlier than the buses because they took the wrong turning or something like that. I went with Yoshua aboard the ship and the first thing I saw - the bookstore. "May I look at those books?" I asked.

"No, you're late for 'Inside Out'," Yoshua replied. (The Inside Out™ program is a program in which a few specially selected people get to experience life aboard the Doulos.)

Knowing that because of this program I wouldn't get to see the bookstore, I was bitterly disappointed. I guess I didn't really know what to expect going for that program. The flyer had asked us to prepare ourselves for hard work and since the program had restricted a visit to the bookstore, I thought Inside Out was bad! Boy, I couldn't have been more wrong.

Yosh brought me up to where we were suppose to meet for the program. There were only 4 people out of the expected 40+. We waited for awhile, had some cake, and then went on tour of the ship. When the four of us got back, more people had arrived, but none from Kluang yet. We blew up balloons for the game that we were going to play, waited, and waited some more. Then we decided to blow balloons for those who hadn't arrived yet. We did this, and then finally 19 people from Kluang decided to turn up. Haha. Not very exciting, is it? And all this time I was thinking: I could be in the bookstore, darn it. With the time spent waiting, I could have done something actually useful.

So we played the little game and listened to a speech on how God can use anyone. Lunch time, now this is where all the excitement began. The food was good and we listened to the interesting stories of one of the crew members. I think she got a little carried away with the tales; we were late to come back after lunch. This turned out to be a very, very good thing. I was originally assigned to stick price tags on books. But because I was late, I was reassigned. Fireman!! Sweet, isn't it? Divine intervention. Only three people got to be firemen - me, daniel sher and some other guy from some other town. We followed our group leader, Jonathan Wittfield, to the room where they kept all the paint and other inflammable stuff. We got changed into our work clothes. So cool! I haven't got a picture of that. Sorry. But we looked cool. It was like a one piece blue suit with steel plated shoes.

Jonathan explained to us about all the fire equipment and safety regulations. We went to check out the fire station. We waited. No fire. Hahaha. Obviously not. It was time for a little work - painting. We painted a large, rusty, red water pipe along the side of the ship. Because the pipe was abit out of reach, we had to bend over backwards on the railing and paint. Painful but fun. Jonathan was extremely patient with us. The some other guy from the some other town kept dripping paint, Ishh.. Jonathan just calmly walked over and cleaned it up with thinner. He did this at least twenty times in that short span of time, but he never complained. He didn't seem to mind at all.

After painting we cleaned up the brushes, washed our hands in thinner, and changed out of our work clothes. Everyone was so friendly. One of the crew members brought us some coke. It tasted different. I looked at the can - made in Netherlands. How cool is that? It tasted so much better than Malaysian coke. We took some pictures together and left for the meeting hall again. Then I realised I had left my badge with the work clothes. So I went with John Lim back to get it. I was stopped at least five times because I didn't have the badge with me. Apparently not just anybody is allowed to walk around the ship. The badge is power! After I got it back, I wasn't stopped anymore.

Later we wrote our feedback. Everyone I knew wrote good things about the program. So did I. We attended a youth meeting and watched some presentations after that but we had to leave early to travel home. I went in the bus this time. And guess what, I slept all the way back.

So those were my adventures aboard the Doulos. I really hope I get to go back there again at least one more time before they scrap it for parts. It was a good experience. The crew were really friendly, but I didn't get to meet the captain though. Maybe I will get to one day. just maybe.

The MV Doulos August 12, 2006.

Green eggs and blogs?

2006-08-08T21:18:00.000+08:00

I do not like them in a box
I do not like them with a fox
Not in a house
Not with a mouse
Not on a train
Not in the rain
Not on a boat
Not with a goat
I will not read them here or there
I will read them anywhere
I do not like blogs, can't you see
Sam-I-Am, just let me be
I think it is just one big scam
I do blog, Sam-I-Am

(Now if only I knew somebody named Sam)

Sweet 16th

2006-08-08T20:20:00.000+08:00

YAY!!! It was my birthday yesterday. The first person to wish me on my birthday itself was michelle. She sent me a message at 12:06am. Regardless of the fact that my family forgot until I reminded them, it was quite ok in the end. Only Dad remembered without a reminder. He came to school to wish me(Thanks Dad). But I forgive you all. Hahaha. Hmm I got chocolate and a card from yiwan and more chocolate from pekying. Thanks. They gave it to me one day early. But i wasnt allowed to open it until the day itself. Had school as usual(although i strongly believe that school should be banned on one's birthday). Came back from school and received more smses. Thanks again. Then was a surprise visit from my buddy, Daniel Sher. He made me a picture frame. So sweet of him. And you know what im thinking? Im thinking that im gonna get him back next year. I got a call from Gideon.

At 8, went for dinner with my dad and brothers to pizza hut. I love pizza. And just in case you dont know what to get me for my Birthdays-to-come, Im hinting. Came back, did some homework and talked with yiwan for awhile. Said good night and went to bed. The last person to wish me was tien hui with an sms at 11:59pm, but i only got to read it the following morning because i had off-ed my phone. *Oh wait... I got a call now. Be right back.* (Although that phrase is pointless to include in a blog, i added it just for fun). It was my Aunty from Singapore to wish me a happy belated birthday.

Let's see. Other presents are a card from my aunty in london that came a week early, RM50 from my aunt from hong kong one day early, some cash from my brother, and the assurance from my parents that i will get something from them. Sort of like an I-owe-you. Oh ya, also the most special gift came exactly two weeks early on the 24th of july, but that's an inside story. Only a very special person will know what im talking about. (Special person, let me know if we can reveal it to the public ok? If you dont want to, thats great as well.) I know you guys are curious....... or not. Thanks so much, special person. Thanks family, thanks friends, and thank You God. Love you all so very much.

The Great Paradox and Several Contradictions

2006-08-01T13:15:00.000+08:00

Good Afternoon,
Let me tell you a bit about myself. I am very against blogging. I detest all sorts of blogs; I do not read blogs. In fact, I created this blog for the very purpose of showing my Anti-blog beliefs. It is my duty to tell all you sad people that blogging is a waste of time, energy, and in some cases, money. I will never read, let alone own, a blog because I have seen the disturbing lack of usefulness in the content of the blogs I have read. So I am using my blog, which I have just created, to warn you against blogs. Because blogs are so bad, you shouldn't even be reading my blog right now. Go outside and play or do some other non-blogging related activities.